The word on the street is that Jada Pinkett-Smith had an affair; and all hell broke loose. When celebrities show a little transparency or expose a transgression or a misguided judgment, there is this veiled or equivocal reflection on their reputation. But in actuality, every married person is “entangled” in their own marital dysfunctions, whether it is infidelity, loneliness, infertility, miscommunication, or sowing seeds of distrust, among others. The thing is we know how to veneer and embellish a bad marriage into a good one.

I LOVE the Snapchat and Instagram filters! They give me beautiful, flawless, glowing skin. It is amazing what these filters can do for your confidence and low self-esteem. But unfortunately, many marriages that we see on social media use those filters too.

We often look at other people’s marriage and we #RelationshipGoals because they only post and show us their best days. Meanwhile, that couple may be drowning in their own loneliness, despair, or marital troubles. They disfigure their truth. They conceal all the pimples and contour the shape/state of their marriage. They eye shadow their marriage to accentuate the good days. They completely impair the appearance of their marriage for likes and praise. The #RelationshipGoals oftentimes paint a picture that looks like Picasso but isn’t. It is a scribble made by a toddler. It sounds like Mozart but it is pure cacophony. If only we could remove the filters and see the façade, most of our idols would be dethroned.

A cup of T. (transparency), I don’t showcase my marriage for many reasons. However, one of the underlying reasons is that it is a way to shelter and protect other people from wanting, fantasizing, or craving my marriage when I know very well there are times… I wish… I. COULD. RUN. AWAY. True story! Marriage is WORK! Marriage is REAL! Marriage is HARD! Marriage is facing the LION!

Here is my take away from the Will and Jada situation. Jada is human and Will is human. We are all human, completely and unapologetically imperfect. We are flawed and at times we are defective. Our secrets can expose the emotional and irrational capacities of humankind. We go through some tough sh*t but that is ok. Ultimately, it is your prerogative; make YOUR marriage work YOUR way!

Oh! For those of you who dare to judge Jada… just because you aren’t “entangled” with another man doesn’t mean you get to walk all innocent. Mind YOUR entanglement!



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