Catch Irventz on “Love Talks with the Garçons” co-starring his wife Anne, as they bring us behind the scenes of their marriage while giving advice, support, and hope. We all can agree that marriage is a tour de force. It requires lots of mental and emotional effort in order to cultivate a healthy one. Our exposure to his marriage is not to boast or exemplify “perfection” but to advocate that marriage is reputed to be … built to last – “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.” In the event that he isn’t at home with his family, executing/administrating Anne Garcon & Now, or supporting community events, you can find him transforming lives at a charter school in Brooklyn New York, amongst other things.
Here goes my virtual interview with Irventz:
- If you could rewrite your past, what’s one thing you’d change?
It’s a great question. Because I feel pretty content with my present so the thought is, if I rewrote my past, would that negatively impact my present? Or would it improve it for the better. But if I did, I would want my older brother, who died before I was born, to still have been alive and also to have had my father actively involved in my life. You know, have the whole full family thing with the white picket fence! Lol. But I’ve created my own with my wife and my children so that’s good. But also having my dad in my life would mean my mother wouldn’t have to struggle as much to raise us by her having a partner.
- What are 3 attributes/qualities you wish your son would take from you?
Be about his family
Taking care of his responsibilities
- What qualities do you look for in the people you hang out with?
People who can just be… It’s often annoying to be in a social group where you have to work so hard to be the life of the party and entertain. But I rock best with people who are just as outgoing and natural as I am. I also want to be around people who pushes and encourage each other to grow.
- Who has influenced you the most and how?
It depends on what aspect. I think I have folks who I look up to in the social justice compartment, spiritual compartment, fatherhood and husbandry. So it’s not one specific influence. My father-in-law was a great example for me of a father and husband. I have friends who are entrepreneurs who are influential on my life in instilling a desire for my own entrepreneurial path. The list is long.
- What do you do to challenge your underlying beliefs, paradigms and assumptions?
I naturally like to give a benefit of a doubt to everyone. So this has allowed me to be able to see other people’s perspective on things. And the fact that I’m big on evaluating people’s feelings, I’m able to also be empathetic to what, how, and why they believe what they believe in. So seeing people and things through those lenses, allow me to now always approach things as though I’m always right in my stance (with a few exceptions: an example being my faith) but approach things with flexibility and a collaborative spirit.
- When is breaking the rules okay?
When it deals with justice/injustice. Oftentimes we have to advocate for ourselves and others. So it can mean going against the status quo. And if that is what it takes, so be it. But even then that should be done with precautions and diplomacy.
- What hope do you have for younger black men growing up in America?
My hope for younger black men growing up in America is for them to have a drive to intentionally rewrite the narrative. Oftentimes we, as humans, rightly so have an attitude of “I don’t care what you think of me because you don’t know me”. There isn’t anything wrong with that because we shouldn’t be judged or be boxed in by someone’s preconceptions of us. So we tend to dismiss their ignorance rather than educating them. My hope is that we live in a way to let the others know who we are, what we are capable of, and what we can accomplish, educationally, career, societally etc…Improve the narrative
We are stronger with him, as his transparency clarifies that it is achievable to be African-American, God-fearing, married, successful, and parenting children who continually excel. To those who have never seen what a thriving marriage is, to those who don’t understand that imperfect beings can create their own perfect love, his story re-instates the core values of marriage and family.
Cheers to a Legacy of Marriages Built to Last!
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