When someone loses a loved one, there is but a few words that you can give to comfort them. When someone loses a 9 month old baby there is absolutely nothing that brings comfort. There are no answers for any of their questions. There is nothing left but turmoil, barrenness and pain. That is where we are, concerning Gemina who lost her son Ezra. The pain of this heartbreak is unceasing. Though a smile is shown, the heart is incarcerated, stuck between a dream and a nightmare.
She recently posted, “I can’t do it anymore” on her status. What she thought was a nightmare has become a reality; a portion of her is lost forever. Families have returned to their lives. The burial is over. Now she is left to carry on…
I woke up this morning with a burden on my heart for her. How can we refuel her hope? I’m sure she’s bored with these clichés: keep busy. Think of the good times. He is in a better place. But people often forget and neglect that those who are grieving are not in the “better place”. How can they get there?
To Gemina or anyone who is a season of bereavement,
Everyday won’t be a strong day for you. You will have some weak days, sad days, happy days, crappy days, can’t do it anymore days. You will have those days where you walk into work late because you just spent the last 30 minutes crying in the parking lot. It is completely ok for you not to be ok. You don’t have to have it together. If you ever wake up feeling a sense of hopelessness and emptiness, cry if you have to. Scream if you have to. Get it out!
When it is all done, go to your dinner table and place a bible on it. Get you a cup of tea. Set two chairs, sit in one, invite God to sit in the other one. Then say, “God, it is you and I today…” You may be mad at Him. You may blame Him. You may hate Him. Sit at the table with Him. Let His love soothe your pain. His love heals.
Please, leave comforting words for Gemina in the comment below.