Life throws at us many curveballs and fastballs. Sneaky and Fast! Born today and an adult tomorrow. Fast! But life is a beautiful thing, with the ups and downs that come with it. Its days are like a box of assorted chocolate that you would receive on February 14th. Some are like the pecan crunch, enjoyable at every bite but those like toffee are unsavory. Nevertheless, we have to do something with all of them. Eat some, share some and throw the yucky ones away.
My candor in this piece is my way of extending help to someone going through a burdensome season. Seeing that I speak with no attempt to conceal the truth, I ask that you to please, read with care.
A couple of years ago, I had a plethora of problems haunting me. They were coming from all points on the compass. I had burdens, regrets and setbacks trying to decay my mind. When I smiled, they were just dormant. One day, I was standing on the platform of the train station on Atlantic & Pacific Ave heading home from work. As I stood there, I saw people with their headphones on. People were playing Tetris on their phones. I saw people talking in groups. I saw people looking down in their books. People were keeping busy as they wait on the train to arrive. So was I. I was busy drenching my heart and mind with all my problems. As the train was approaching the station, there was a sudden shift in me. The desire to live was no longer a desire of mine. Something told me that things would be better if I threw myself before the approaching train. The voice was echoing over and over in my head. It left like forever but could have only been 5 seconds.
Every year, we hear of people who have tried to commit suicide. Some have been successful and some not. Some are planned and some are unplanned. Do not be misled, there are more people hiding this secret than those who are overtly exposing it. Suicides thoughts or attempts aren’t always a confession of one desiring death. But rather it is an effort to make what’s haunting come to a halt.
I was in an enormous state of depression and I didn’t even know it. For me, it was my problems haunting me. What is IT for you? Is it shame? Anxiety? Regret? Pain? Fear? Abuse? Addiction? Judgment? Injustice? Peer pressure? Persecution? Failure? Loneliness? Why someone battling these things should feel so hopeless that they desire to bring an end to life is not clear, but Jesus came so that you might have LIFE ABUNDANLTY.
I don’t know why God stopped me that day. But, I’m grateful He did and that I didn’t jump. I don’t know if you are on the verge of jumping off. Maybe you are at the brink of a complete meltdown. Whatever your IT is that has led you to this tragic decision, you can overcome IT. It won’t last. Don’t make a permanent decision on your temporary situation. Your life isn’t over. Better days and things are coming your way. Get off the cliff. Get off the bridge. Get out the water. Throw the pills away. Cut the rope. Put the firearm down. Don’t give up on your life. Keep living… There’s SONLIGHT after the tunnel.