Dear Lady with the Toxic Family,
By now I know that you are tired of your family and all the anxiety they trigger. Family is important so I could never tell you to cut ties with them; and besides, that is too divisive. What I can say is set boundaries. Don’t allow them to overstep your bounds. Put your foot down! Don’t be apprehensive, let them know when they’ve gone too far. People will go as far as you allow them. Hence, start to build your wall.
No, they don’t get to tell you how to live your life, who to marry, or how to parent your children. No, you can’t always be there to rescue them. Sometimes it is you who needs the rescuing. No they don’t get to metastasize their emotional disease to your life. No they don’t get to channel their own unhappiness to you.
Enough is enough!
Construct the wall high enough that they can never cross over.