Dear Woman Wounded by Church

Dear Woman Wounded by Church, 

If I can count how many times I’ve been hurt by church, I wouldn’t have any pieces of my heart left and I sure wouldn’t have enough of me left.  Church is not for the weak; believe me when I tell you.  It is a place where people who are MESSED up gather.  Hence, why I’m there… and you are too, right?!!  The sad truth is that I’m sure I’ve been on the other side too; indirectly inflicting pain on someone else.

I’ve resolved that being emotionally injured or damaged by the church isn’t a valid reason to leave.  As long as the church is functioning under and with imperfect people, I can expect to be disappointed, talked about, overlooked, criticized, opposed and even hated.  It comes with human territory.  I believe that hurt comes because people will be people whether they’re  in church, at work or in a relationship.  However, I think the biggest culprit is being afraid to confront.  Being “non-confrontational” will cause you to sacrifice and miss out on a lot.  It will cause you to make an incorrect assessment of the blurred lines rather than adjusting your focus.  There are people who’ve been wounded by a member of the church and they don’t even know.

You NEED to confront the people who have hurt you.  Talk about it.  Confronting doesn’t mean you have to be disrespectful or insubordinate.  It means to face and deal with the issue at hand – YOUR pain matters.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.  You undercompensate harmony when you allow frustration and hostility to lurk beneath the surface.  When you remain silent, you allow the wounds to deepen.  You never get to know the truth.  And when you leave… you stay hurt, in the doghouse. 

So, don’t gossip!  Be proactive in your healing.  Create a space for dialogue.  Clear the air once and for all. 

…On a road to Health and Maturity  

Sincerely,
Tulip