When he goes high you go low.
Ladies, this one is for you. Actually, all of my posts are for you. But this one is a special one. Michelle Obama gave one of the best speeches in World history. I don’t intend to talk politics on my posts, we have enough controversial topics as is. But there is a line in that speech that makes people teary and gives chills. “When they go low we go high.” It raised a standard for people, a stance to love, a mantra for success, a slogan to be stronger together. This awe-inspiring quote brings up some inspiration in a reverse form as well. Go low when they go high.
What in the world??? Is this post really saying what I think it is saying? Where is the inspiration? Does this mean that I’m saying to bully people when they bully us? To give in to the temptation to insult someone back when they insult us? Am I saying when people mistreat you, to let them? Then… Does this mean that I’m undoing all the work of the gender equality movement? Saying all our forbearers have accomplished is for naught? I promise you it is not. What I also promise is seeing a change in your marriage for the better. This post is not here to unravel or come undone the good.
When your fiancé, husband or any man you are in a relationship with for that matter, when he goes high, you go low. Not low in standard, not in worth, not low in value but low in volume. We have a tendency to lash out all our feelings and every ounce of emotions that we have on the man. We speak with anger. God forbids you are black, angry and expressive, you automatically win the Angry Woman Award.
Before you can disagree with me, understand where I’m taking you. I’m discovering daily that my husband doesn’t like the different octaves and the C sharp notes that I take when we’re having a heated fellowship. It is a violation of the respect due to him. I’m learning… and making the necessary changes because I love him. I vow to respect him. I commit myself to honor the respect due to him. I’ve also discovered that it is not my husband alone. It is a man thing. Embedded in the heart of the book of Proverbs are two precious jewels. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”(1). “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel” (18). Our marriages will be healthier when we nurture the harmony by having a softer tone and choosing to use softer words. This choice won’t portray you as being weak or less than. It demonstrates your wisdom. You don’t have to raise your voice to be powerful. You are already powerful. You can be gentler with your tone, softer with your words and still exude strength. Be strong and be wise.