“It’s possible to climb to the top without stomping on other people.” – Taylor Swift
In lieu of my #StrongerWithHer posts this month, I would like to create stronger camaraderie amongst the women in my community by issuing this piece. Camaraderie among women of all backgrounds, ethnicities, race and age is much needed. It is unmistakable that authentic kindness can be great groundwork to building stronger bonds amongst women. But few women are willing to sow kindness.
We repeatedly want to put a spotlight on celebrity women who are inspiring women, celebrity women of influence, celebrity women crush Wednesday. Women like Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou, Serena Williams, and Taraji P. Henson get accolades for their accomplishments. We follow them on social media. We praise them for their strength, with all good reason of course. But, the women that are in our circles, in our churches, in our schools, in our workplaces rarely receive a “congratulations” or “good job” from us.
It is disheartening that plenty of women don’t quite know how to congratulate and celebrate women in their surroundings because they choose to compete, to gossip, to have catfights, and to give cruel criticisms. They cling to envious attitudes. They carry the “S” on their chest simply to say they are superwoman. But they hate other women who are getting ahead of them. They speak ill of others just so they can look good. They minimize other women’s strength and magnify their weakness. Except a superwoman sees strength in other women despite their flaws. She seeks to inspire and cultivate other women. She seeks to support and be a cheerleader for other women.
What is the root cause for this plague in our society? Comparison!
Someway somehow, some women manage to feel threatened by the woman next door, the one sitting next to her, and even the sister singing in the choir with her. They criticize, undermine and demean the other woman. They feel defeated by her because she is a force to be reckoned with. Why? Could this be a projection of how they feel about themselves? Each of us was given a measure of power and influence. We shouldn’t feel intimated if a woman chooses to use hers. We don’t have to tear each other down. We don’t have to walk on each other. That’s a choice. It is preposterous to think that we can find our source of strength when we belittle others. Our value is NOT in proportion to someone else’s. We don’t have to compete. The woman sitting next to us is not a threat.
Ladies, no one can ever take away what belongs to you. What is yours is yours FOREVER. It is beautiful watching women support, lift and inspire one another. “Alpha females don’t run in packs” is divisive. It is not for humans. It is for animals (excuse my choice of words). We were created to walk and run together. Life is so much better in pairs. There is strength in pairs. There is an imperative need to be united. Alone, we are like a fragile egg waiting for its demise. But together, we are bulletproof glass.
Women, together we are stronger
Learn to be comfortable with celebrating other women. The saying “iron sharpens iron” holds true till this day. You have an obligation as woman to sharpen other women. Next time you see you a woman blazing trails, you root for her. You shield her when other people are throwing negative darts at her. You pray for her to be resilient when resistance comes. You congratulate her. You cry with her when she cries. You foster her to continue dreaming big. You invest in her. We can be strong. We really can. We have to do it together.
Here’s to us, stronger together
Please, leave a comment. I would love to hear how this post has inspired and will impact you. Take a minute and share with someone who could use it. Help me inspire others.
Thank you for reading.