Dear Woman who Hates her Stepdaughter

Dear Mother who Hates Her Stepdaughter, 

Ou, Chile!  I heard that you hate your stepdaughter because you fear that she will preoccupy all of your husband’s love and that your daughter will compete with his daughter.  You aren’t wrong for feeling the way you do; there is no judgement here.  But I hope you can channel a healthier emotion.

This profound sentiment you feel may flow from a river of pain you had growing up as a little girl.  Maybe your father wasn’t there for you because of his “other family.”  Maybe he was there but you were his least favorite.  All of this doesn’t mean that your husband will follow suit. 

I would advise you to seek counseling.  Channel the good that is in your heart.  I know it is in there somewhere.

Allow me to be a tribe member to echo and help you recognize that you can love someone else’s child as your own.   You and your daughter deserve your husband’s love.  However, your Stepdaughter needs her father’s love as well.  Not to mention that your stepdaughter also needs your love to thrive. 

Go ahead and love her like your own.  It’s feasible. 


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