Dear Jabez’s Mother

Dear Jabez’s Mother
“Don’t name your child after your situation.
Don’t pain your child with your pain”
[[Based on a True Story: 1 Chronicles 4:9-10]]

Dear Jabez’s Mother

Any soon-to-be-mothers want their pregnancy to be perfect and stress free. Finding the perfect hospital to give birth, perfect color for the nursery, and even finding the perfect name. One of the toughest decisions to make is choosing the right name. One that is cool. One that their friends wont make fun of when they get to high school, and definitely one that they will want to keep forever. A decision like this never goes underwhelmed. Having a long index of names for boys to choose from doesn’t make the task as simple as ABC either. Do you go with a name that stands out, a unisex name, a famous name or a hybrid name (half of yours and half of your husband’s name)? This decision can’t go out on a limb. After all, this child will have this name for life. Talk about pressure.

Admit it! You succumbed to the pressure. You messed up. Aaron, Micah, Owen, Connor, Liam are some good quality names for boys. Only leaving it to you, you chose Jabez. Out of all names, Jabez, meaning pain. You named him pain. As often as they call this child, is as often as he is reminded of what he was or is to you: your pain. This may have been your easiest route, name him how you feel at the time. Never truly thought of the “pain” that it would cause Pain. This pained him so much that when he turned 18 (adding my own embellishment) he goes to City Hall and get a name change. He beseeched God to bless him beyond this curse that you, his own mother put him under. Perhaps Jabez’s birth caused you to lose the man you loved because he didn’t want you to have the baby. Perhaps you were a teenager when you had him. Perhaps you didn’t want to have him but your mom forced you to. Your reasons may be numberless. One thing that is at the end of the day, your pain cause your son pain.

In Haitian Creole, many women love to call the children they aren’t proud of as “Pitit papa-w” (your father’s child or you’re just like your father) referring to the child being as bad as his father. Every so often, these fathers are notorious. Drug dealers, murderers, deadbeat dads, felons, the ones whose home address is 123 Prison Cell #1, Federal Road, USA.

Modern Day Mother of Jabez, could there be a chance that you are psychologically and subconsciously enticing your son to be like their infamous fathers? Bless your child and don’t curse them. Give them a name for greatness, a name that will birth a legacy. Even in the midst of disaster and turmoil, peace can be born. Yes, you may have pain during the pregnancy but don’t transfer it over to the child. If you are pregnant in this season, exercise caution as to what you are passing on to your child. Will they be known as your crack baby? Will they be known as HIV positive? Will they be known as your failure? Will they have a stigma or a scar following them forever? Don’t invite pain to follow your child for the rest of their life. Don’t let your child be affected by the decisions you made. You may not be able to change who their father is but you can change the orbit of their future.


Strongly together & Inspired by,


Is this “your story?” Can you identify with Jabez’s mother? Do you empathize with her? Is her issue your issue? Here is the call to action: Share this post to help other women who need this. Please, use the hashtags #MyStoryIsInTheBible #IAmJabezMother

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